The lawn is past crispy and everything in the vegetable gardens is stunted. The hollyhocks look more like dwarfs and there were no gooseberries or black currants to speak of. Even the birds got nothing. But It’s cooled a bit today. Here is a little silliness as a reminder of what we’ve been going through.

I honor those who survived the heat wave of 1936 WITHOUT air conditioning.

How hot has it been?

  • the birds have to use potholders to pull the worms out of the ground
  • the trees are whistling for the dogs
  • the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance
  • hot water comes from both taps
  • you can make sun tea instantly
  • you learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron
  • the temperature drops below 90 F and you feel a little chilly
  • you discover that in July it only takes two fingers to steer your car (one on each hand)
  • you discover that you can get sunburned through your car window
  • you actually burn your hand opening the car door
  • you break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 5:30 A.M.
  • your biggest motorcycle wreck fear is, “What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death”?
  • you realize that asphalt has a liquid stage
  • the potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter
  • the cows are giving evaporated milk
  • farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.

IT’S SO DRY in Ontario……. that the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling, the Methodists are using wet-wipes, the Presbyterians are giving rain checks, and the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water!