Well hello.

Southern Ontario more resembles Transylvania, what with the brutish winds, slashing rain and near-perpetual semi-darkness. Yes, it does feel like we’re in some post-Apocalyptic wasteland.

Sometimes, my day is brightened by an email from an old friend I haven’t heard from in a while, or a funny graphic on Facebook, or notification that I have a new follower on social media.

EXCEPT…about once a month, I receive an email that I’ve got a new follower on Tumblr. I’m still not sure what the site does for me, but I’ve semi-automated my posts using something called If This Then That (IFTTT). Here’s the website.

There’s a trend. My new followers are Emily and Vivian and they’re porno princesses.

These two are relatively mild. And one I can’t even show you, was an over-the-top hardcore video.

How the hell do they find me and why they sign up for an author site has me completely flummoxed. Can they read or are web-bots finding something normal folks can’t see?

Now I know the Internet is worse than the Wild West, but give me a break. Is no one acting like a high school hall monitor and checking to see if legitimate social media sites are being high-jacked by these pervy purveyors of over-plasticized babes featuring bum shots?

Here is my site.

I mean, I ask you! Boring.

It’s clearly about writing and books. I haven’t embedded any naughty words or images that would attract readers seeking the salacious. I’m wearing a bloody turtleneck sweater, for heaven’s sake. That’s about as far from sexy as you can get. I suppose the keyboard might mean something to someone with a fetish, but even my imagination isn’t that good.

After I stopped giggling, I blocked the two potential followers. But oh, my. I hope they can get chiropractic treatment for those twisted spines.