I’d planned to. I’d thought about some topics. But I didn’t put fingers to keyboard and let the words out. Sure, I concentrated on my consulting project, sitting so long in front of my giant monitor that my butt went numb – and that’s not a pretty thing, my friends. But that isn’t the creativity that I should – see, there’s that damned word ‘should’ – be focusing on.
I’m a writer. I have too many projects to count in the developmental projects hopper. My recent word count isn’t worth mentioning. My productivity targets keep getting pushed far into the future because of course, other things like laundry and shopping and housecleaning have to be done.
After five minutes of yelling at myself in my mind, frustrated because I waste time (doing many things that I find fun, though) and should be more productive, I tripped over this video in my Facebook feed. Watched it and laughed. Watched it again and thought, ‘wow, they are all right’.
And then I stood looking out into the snowy back yard and listened to the dialogue playing in the background and remembered that yes, we are still the same person as our younger self – why not take strength from that?
Why do we beat ourselves up and say those mean things? No matter what we look like on the outside, no matter what our life experiences have been or what our fears and hopes are, deep down, we are still that thoughtful, fearless, loving young person. Stop fussing about perfection – there’s no such thing. Besides, it would take more time than we have! Dreaming is good. Be your best self? Yes, I can do that. Take pleasure in who and what you are and the things you accomplish every day. Yes, I can do that. I will do that.
Now there’s a mantra to repeat regularly.