Maybe it’s  a sign. I’m losing it. In fact, I’ve lost ‘it’ – a letter that I saw on the top of my desk just this afternoon. Of course, the desk itself is a landslide of paper rubble, empty envelopes, handwritten notes comparing the cost of five cubic yards of triple mix delivered by Farmer Jacks and Holland Valley Nursery (HVN is cheaper), crumpled receipts for something I bought at Homesense that was final sale (I thought only panties were final sale) and a printout of a Google map to somewhere in Vaughan.  Nuts, I’ve looked everywhere and can’t find ‘it’.

2014-05-13 20.43.46What Am I searching for? It’s a piece of correspondence. I signed up as a volunteer a ferw weeks ago with a study being conducted at Baycrest Hospital at the Brain Health Complex. The damn thing contained instructions for where to go and when to arrive. I read it a while ago – very quickly, but now when I need it, I can’t find it in the detritus that is my desk. Dammit. This is not a good sign. I mean, some researchers are going to be taking a sample of my blood and subjecting me to all sorts of cognitive and dexterity tests. They’re going to give me groups of words and numbers to remember then they’ll distract me with another task and ask me to remember the original lists. Right-o. One of the exercises takes place inside an MRI machine so they’ll map my brain activity while I’m performing some tasks. But I can’t find the joining instructions. What a bozo.

If I can’t remember things in my own house, how poorly will I perform in a laboratory environment? Mind you, I’ve always loved tests. The challenge of beating someone else, actually. Or a timer or myself. At least I found the map and I have my parking tag. Um, what am I doing tomorrow? I have to remember that they want fasting blood samples, so no food or fluids until 9:30. That doesn’t bother me; it’s the not remembering part. One of my biggest fears is turning into a wrinkled old cabbage who poops in her pants and mixes up plaids with polka dots or wears white after Labour Day.

That’s why I walk whenever I can and work out (not enough, but I’m trying) and eat brain food. yes, my friend, chocolate oatmeal cookies with chia seeds are brain food. So is broccoli with butter. Medium-well steak. Oven fries. Wine.

Wait…I think I took the paper upstairs and put it on the arm of the couch. I’m not afraid of being wrong. It’s…Oh…squirrel!!