What is it about the end of the week that brings out the cyber-nuts (you’ll note that I’ve moved on from ‘truck nuts’, but there is a thematic riff, here. Anyway, I was scrolling through the Huffington Post website and noticed these ads.

And I’m thinking, right, a $5 (US) wrinkle trick. My grandchildren could do that for free, from the time they were babies. They’d place one chubby, usually sticky palm on each of my cheeks and push the extra flesh back towards my ears.

Voila! I may have looked like a Thai dress dummy in the Ladies’ Market, but the wrinkles were gone – hidden under their fingers. Not a permanent solution, but it felt sort of toning and having them close enough to kiss was nice. I’m wondering if that ‘mom’ dresses age appropriately or if she’s rocking a pleather mini with her support hose and hypo-allergenic eyebrow piercing.

And those penny stocks? I had some, except they were listed on the TSX for hundreds of pennies and went by the name of …something Forest. Even though I bought low, in expectations that they’d vindicate themselves and provide me with a modest return, the stock chart continued to slump so badly it looked like an ungroomed piste at Spanky’s Ladder and Blowhole at Whistler-Blackcomb. Buy sort-of-low, sell lower. I just don’t have the stones (note how I deftly wove my way back to the topic of …nuts) to be a day-trader. Or week trader. My investment strategy now is not to look at my trading accounts on line.

The only trees that interest me now are in the garden.