I am not a Door Donkey. But I’ve encountered them.

Eating beans pre-boarding. That’s the ticket – a beanie-wagon at the door, right inside Union station, close to the ticket-cancelling machines. Might beat back that cloying smell of cinnamon. Your colon may think you but your seat-mates will not. Guess it depends (no  pun) on how much you care. Might guarantee you a seat. Game on.

I’m waiting for a cartoon about the donkeys who elbow each other out the doors and sprint to their vehicles, no matter what the weather. They take a quick swipe at the windshield as they yank open the car door, fire up the buggy and wheel out of the choked slot(s) to join the line of cars jockeying out of the parking lot. While they wait for a space, they run their defrosters on ultra-high. I’ve seen folks lean out of their window, scraper in hand, so they can see as they edge up to my bumper and give me the death-stare. Folks, Guiding Light isn’t on TV anymore. No rush. Wait your turn.

There’s a special place in Hades for the black-clad pedestrians who throw you dirty looks as they saunter through the 12″ of space between bumpers. Then there are the rude buggers that don’t want to follow etiquette and let you in – it’s every other car, doofus! And, bwa’ha’ha – I’m turning right, so I don’t have to wait in that interminable line of over-caffeinated type A-mobiles that stretches in two lines back to the tracks.

I am not a Parking Donkey. But I’ve had to squeeze my butt into the passenger side door of my wet car because of them. A pox on all their SUVs. 

Didn’t even know what they were until I started following this blog – YOU. ME. THIS CRAZY TRAIN (home of the logo gallery from whence I’ve downloaded the images used in this post).

C. J. Smith is the blogger’s name and she is a quick-witted, incredibly talented writer. We HAVE to get her involved in WCDR, if she’s not a member already. There’s a book future for her. Hey – if Neil Pasricha can publish several books on ordinary little things that are Awesome, then C.J. has the makings of a bestseller with her pithy, often raucous tales of riding the commuter rails. We’ve all experienced the stuff she writes about, haven’t we? I’m thinking this woman needs a costume, something Valkyrie-ish, in hot colours, with warning lights, a built-in keyboard and a sound system.

Last week, I was lounging by the pool at a resort in Playa del Carmen, Mexico  catching up with my emails whenever the intermittent wi-fi signal beamed my way. This exchange had me snorting mango daiquiri out of my nose when I read it. If you haven’t taken public transit around the greater Toronto Area, you’ll read this stuff and go, huh? But for those of us who toil on the train, the buses and the TTC, even occasionally, this is pure gold.

I think she’s brilliant! You GO girl.